Miscellanea Redux

Since I only have a couple of posts remaining, I want to clean out some of the notes I’ve made in my phone of random observations, experiences, and epiphanies (perhaps too strong of a term for what I present here, but I'm the author, and I'll do as I see fit). Some I’ve slightly edited as to be comprehensible, others come as is. Here ye be:

Noodle shop guy likes to offer me smokes after the meal. Every time. Not sure he’s gotten the hint, but I don’t mind.

I gave a presentation on Ireland (a country they know next to nothing about) to the whole freshman class. It went swimmingly and there was mad love before, during, and after. Leaving them will undoubtedly be the toughest part of going home. This honestly reminds me of a quote from There’s Something About Mary, “those goofy bastards are just about the best thing I’ve got going.” They're awesome. Then on the way home I walked through a difficult-to-explain-to-you-foreigners carnival of song and dance in Yang Jia Ping; just another Thursday evening.

Minneapolis isn't the most diverse city in the world, but living amongst a sea of people of the same ethnicity every day is a totally different ballgame.

I saw a stop sign in Chinese (which is seriously rare, I’ve seen maybe 3 in the whole city) and my first reaction, honestly, was there is no guarantee that the sign actually says ‘Stop’. In a country where copyright laws are so brazenly flouted, I could easily imagine someone ripping off an octagonal red sign simply because it was recognizable, and slapping up a different meaning on it. I hope that makes sense; it did to me.

Seeing Chinese versions of people from home is thoroughly entertaining. It’s happened to me a few times where I see a Chinese person that looks strikingly similar to someone from home.

 “The United Nations is the biggest enemy we have. They’re the ones that are coming out saying global warming this and global warming that but no where do they mention the effect of the sun on heating the earth,” said the loud, southern-accented, dumb-fuck, stereotypical American before he went on to rail against the evils of homosexuality. This was overheard when I was working on my thesis at teahouse where there was an English language conversation group between expats and mostly young Chinese people. I nearly lost my cool, but decided to let him wallow in his own filth and bigotry while I walked away. That was a tough one.

Major dilemma on the metro: woman standing in front of me, not sure if pregnant or plump. Do I remain in the seat and look like a dick if she is pregnant? Or run the risk of offending her if she wasn’t pregnant by giving up the seat? I left it up to the other men around me to make a move. They didn't. I sat put. Questionable.

I've been to KFC and Starbucks more here than I ever did back home. I've probably been to those places two times combined in the past decade, whereas I go once a month to both here. Sometimes you take touchstones of home where you can get them. 

One group of students took me out for hot pot and then asked me if I would join them after at KTV (karaoke). The scene is much different than karaoke at home. You have a private room with just your group singing away. They came out of the gate strong with lots of English songs (some Britney, Michael Jackson, etc.), and after an inordinate amount of pestering, I dusted off a little ‘With or Without You’ to serious fanfare. Sometimes living in this country thoroughly distorts ones sense of importance.

I’ve gotten used to being looked at a lot in public, but a new phenomenon I’ve noticed is how people will stare even harder at Chinese friends I walk with than at me.

Checkout aisle at every grocery store: candy and condoms, front and center. Not shy about family planning here, which is especially odd for a country that shies away from and censors many forms of overt sexuality. 

Picking your nose is legit. I’ve been in conversations where someone will spend the whole time up to the second knuckle digging for gold. Yet if I blow my nose loudly at a restaurant, people give me odd looks. I have yet to master certain aspects of social etiquette.

That’s all, folks. See you next week.